JUST BRENDA: Is washing a man’s underwear the secret to a happy marriage?

Hi Brenda,

I was speaking to my friends the other day about what a good wife does and they were insisting that a good wife always washes the husband’s underwear. Do you agree with this? I said that was disgusting but some married friends say that is one of the secrets of a happy marriage.

I think some married people have a twisted understanding of what marriage is, because how can washing underwear be one of the secrets of a happy marriage? Before tolerance, patience, understanding, all those other vital things? Secret? Do they know the meaning of the word secret? Anyway. Maybe they were trying to say what I am about to say.

Different couples work in different ways. Some women don't mind washing underwear. And some do. The thing is you shouldn't be forced to do something you don't want to do. Sure, you can compromise - depending on importance.

Compromise, in reality, is one of the 'secrets' to a happy marriage. Which is why I ask - will not washing his underwear truly break up the marriage? And then what, pray tell, was he doing before the wife?

Were his hands broken? Is there a washing machine? Is the help washing it? Didn't his mother teach him that you're responsible for that which goes near your genitals? I mean...surely.

In summation – if something is important to someone, like is washing underwear is his love language as opposed to a ridiculously archaic tool of submission, and you're ok with him needing that expression, then you're home free. I'm all about choice; if that's something you want to choose to do, that's perfectly fine. But it can't be one of those ultimatum things. And if YOUR love language is having your panties washed as well, I hope he's willing to reciprocate.

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