JUST BRENDA: He‘s been distant ever since he discovered my affair, help!
He was very calm about it, he told me, “Thank you for deceiving me”, and he has been quite distant and quiet. I am afraid of losing him. I still love him. What should I do?
PHOTO| FILE
What you need to know:
- But for the relationship to have any chance after this, you will need to deal with the underlying motivations to the cheating in the first place.
- Reach out to a professional if need be.
Dear Just Brenda,
My husband’s phone was stolen last week so I gave him mine to use. Unfortunately, I forgot to delete my text messages and he bumped into old SMSes I had exchanged with a man from work that I have been having an affair with. He was very calm about it, he told me, “Thank you for deceiving me”, and he has been quite distant and quiet. I am afraid of losing him. I still love him. What should I do?
From where I stand, you are only sorry now that you got caught. You cheated on your husband and now you are reaping the consequences. Under this circumstances, his reaction is reasonable.
The only thing you can do now is talk to him. Admit that you made a mistake and only say that you are sorry if you truly are. From there, whether to stay or leave is a decision he will make on his own. You need to prepare your heart in case he decides to leave.
But for the relationship to have any chance after this, you will need to deal with the underlying motivations for the cheating in the first place. Reach out to a professional if need be.
PS: If this man has violent tendencies, watch out for yourself. The anger that is building up in him can explode violently.
Want to shareyour problem with Just Brenda? E-mail [email protected]
