JUST BRENDA: I find it difficult to discuss money with my fiancé

Hi Brenda,

I find it difficult to discuss finances with my fiancé. I have heard that that the subject is very tricky and can even lead to a break-up. I don’t want to sound like I want my man’s money, but for the sake planning our future, we need to talk about money. We are engaged and we both have jobs. How do I approach this matter?

Hi,

Wow! You're late, my dear. You should have talked about finances much earlier than this, but if you didn't do it yesterday, the best time to do it is today.

You're right – marriages and relationships do end over finances. If you're marrying this person, you need to know and understand their money personality.

You're becoming partners. How do you build a future without discussing the resources? How will you prioritise spending if you don't know what you're working with?

Sometimes people prefer to know the exact figures their partners are making, and that's fine. Others prefer defining the budget and making contributions to each through a joint account, for joint expenses like rent, shopping, etc. You need to at least have a budget.

You can't be scared of a man you're willing to marry at this point – because that's an even bigger issue. Just tell him exactly what you told me;

Listen baby, we need to talk money before we get married. What are our needs? How often will we entertain? How often will we go on holiday? What are we saving for? Are we going to have a joint account?

I cannot stress this enough – you MUST have this conversation. If he thinks you just want his money, then he doesn't know you well enough to be proposing.