In Summary
  • My girlfriend got pregnant four months ago
  • My wife and I have one child who is seven years old; we don’t have more because she wanted to first pursue her career.
  • Now she wants a second child.
  • This will make it difficult for me as my job is not quite stable.
  • Do you have a problem to share with Just Brenda? Send your questions to lifeandstyle@ke.nationmedia.com

Dear Brenda,

Thank you very much for your support and nice articles that have really helped some of us understand more in life.

I have a pressing issue which has left me very confused. My girlfriend got pregnant four months ago; we have been dating without my wife's knowledge. My wife and I have one child who is seven years old. We don’t have more because she did not want to have a child very soon as she pursued her career goals. So I had a girlfriend in order to have a child.

The main problem is that my wife is insisting on having a second child now, while my girlfriend is already pregnant. This makes it difficult for me because I depend on my wife as my job is not that stable, and also I do not know how I will explain to her that I’m also having a child with my girlfriend. Kindly assist.

 

Lol.

Wow.

I guess it is too late to say use a condom? Which is what you should have done in the first place. I mean, granted, you took your wife's word for it that she didn't want another child yet, but she said yet, not never.

So instead of hastening the process and getting another girl pregnant, you should have just waited for your wife to get to the point where she was going to be ready to have a baby. But here we are, paying for your selfishness.

For one thing, listen to your wife the next time she tells you something. For another thing, it's time to pay the piper for the things you've been doing in the dark.

Tell your wife what's going on, because that is literally your only option at redemption at this point, unless you plan on being a deadbeat dad. Then, figure out how you are going to support the two families you have created.

The only one paying for the consequences of your action should be you. Don't take it out on your children. You haven't been an honest man before – it's time to get a job and be a man now.

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Do you have a problem to share with Just Brenda? Send your questions to lifeandstyle@ke.nationmedia.com