JUST BRENDA: My wife's secret chatting bothers me

Hi Brenda,

I learnt that my wife is having private romantic chats with three different men behind my back. It happened when I realised she chats a lot in secret, and receives texts and calls late at night. I decided to check her phone and I saw the communications.

When I raised the issue for discussion, she apologised and assured me she would never do that again. She promised to block all the people she had been chatting with on various platforms.

Two months down the line, I found out she's still in the game, even sharing about how I came across those chats. When I asked her about it, she cried and accused me of not trusting her. How can I go about this?

Hello,

Do not be held hostage by these tears. She can cry all she wants, but the fact of the matter is that she actually did do these things that you are accusing her of. After you confronted her about it, she cried to distract you from the fact that nothing has changed. You should be the one crying.

Her habits offend you, and she needs to stop them for the sake of your marriage, in all honesty. Otherwise, what was the point of getting married? To have romantic chats with everyone but your husband, or to literally forsake all others?

Perhaps there is some underlying issue here that needs to be looked at, such as a feeling of neglect or a lack of romance, but the way to solve it is not to go outside the marriage to get it. You both need some form of therapy, because she is being emotionally manipulative and you are taking it.

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