In Summary
  • In the early days of our marriage, it was impossible to name even three faults or attributes that I did not like about hubby.
  • I was bending over backwards in an attempt to live up to all that makes a good wife.
  • He too was climbing hills and sliding down steep valleys in living up to the expectations of a great husband.
  • Years down the line, our respective 'contention lists' have grown astronomically.

The first time we ever sought help to resolve a nagging conflict with hubby, I had put together a list of 10 items. I labelled them 'contention areas'. He had with him a modest list of four contention areas.

In the course of the couple counselling session, his list grew to 14. He had added all of mine onto his list.

“Actually, I have about 10 more contention areas. I just highlighted the very critical ones,” I announced and quickly added 10 more items.

With time, I have learnt that it is easy to draw up a list of as many as 50 faults that we oh-so-clearly see in our spouse. Familiarity does indeed breed contempt. In the early days of our marriage, it was impossible to name even three faults or attributes that I did not like about hubby. I was bending over backwards in an attempt to live up to all that makes a good wife.

He too was climbing hills and sliding down steep valleys in living up to the expectations of a great husband. How easy it was to praise and appreciate him for doing even the mundane things like replacing a soggy towel in the bathroom rack with a clean and dry one.

He was quick to compliment me when I straightened out the cushions and hang up a painting. I thought that I had the best husband in the entire universe and thanked my lucky stars for aligning in my favour. He called me his queen and knelt every day in thanksgiving.

“You are the best,” he often told me. I happily agreed and told him the same thing.

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