He will quickly pack your piece and even throw a fresh bunch of dhania inside to try and appease you. Sometimes you feel like you have missed a step in the packing process and you demand that he opens his servers.

FEMALE CUSTOMERS

Even then, you will never see that cleverly hidden bone. It is after you have arrived home and elaborately instructed on how you want that steak made, medium rare with onions and tomatoes and a litre of soup, that you get a shock of your life.

That is when you will discover that you bought a kilo of thigh bone neatly wrapped with a thin foil of steak. You vow to return Njoro to his maker during the next visit.

But his cunning efforts are not all vain. He is known to have a soft spot for his female customers. He keenly listens to their cries and cuts the meat as per their instructions.

Rumour has it that the ladies love the way he works his hands around the hanging meat, neatly curving out choice chunks from the back and rib cage areas. He always manages to display a pleasant character in the wake of the ladies, and as an after sale service he offers advice on how to cook the meat in a medium flame with coriander and green pepper.

The hair salon grapevine is ripe with stories of his benevolent nature and how he never cheats on his weights. This attribute makes him get rated as a good lover. Once in a while an overwhelmed female customer will invite him to her home to taste her cooking and confirm that the salt is just right.

LEGITIMATE CHILDREN

Like a man is wont to do under such circumstances, he gladly accepts the offer. As a long service award and appreciation for his honesty of character, he is offered other refreshments by the host. As a result, there are between four to six kids in the neighborhood that bear an uncanny resemblance to him, especially his big ears and thick lips.

When any of these kids are sent by their mothers to buy meat, he abandons everything else and focuses on retrieving his best cuts for them. This is always at the expense of our orders which are relegated to spongy and elastic pieces of the cow that are derived from the dewlap and knees areas.

He really takes good care of his wild seed. It is no wonder then that his legitimate children back in the village are always diagnosed with protein deficiencies. I witnessed one day when the mother of his children showed up at the butchery and demanded to be given two kilos of meat.

She reminded him that his children had been on a staple diet of ugali and vegetables for the last three months and their stomachs were distended with symptoms of kwashiorkor. She lamented that the children have been feeding on greens like livestock, and educated him that his children would not scratch themselves if they ate meat.

She also wanted to know why he had not been to the village to see his children over those three months, insinuating that he was resisting his matrimonial duties. In order to save face, he promptly folded a kilo of offal and added some hooves to make soup for the children and led her out of the butchery.

As he escorted her back to Machakos Airport to take the bus back to the village, I realized that he is hard worker but he is multiplying all his earthily efforts by zero. Some men will come out of this City carrying their clothes in a paper bag.

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