In Summary
  • There are some places I walk into, and they already know what I am going to say, if they haven't changed something that I think is essential, such as cleanliness, or old menus.
  • I hate old menus. Why must they look like they fought the Battle of Jericho when they are handed over to me? Surely, here's looking at your wine list, Brew Bistro, do better.

I have a bit of a reputation among my friends for being picky about food, picky about restaurants, picky about service...you get the drill. I can whinge with the best of them about quality – in fact, for a quick second there, quality control was my job. And not only was I good at it, I very much enjoyed it.

Here's the thing – I strongly feel like the service industry should be serving the people who give them the money to give them a service.

You would think that was obvious, but it isn't. I have been in establishments where the supervisor and waitress say to me, 'The customer is not always right.' Of course the customer isn't always right, but you can't say that to the customer.

You can never say that to the customer (yes, I have never gone back to that dastardly establishment again).

I was wondering where they had hidden away the classic Artcaffe slogan. Usually it's written across a wall, but this variation is on a poster. PHOTO| ABIGAIL ARUNGA

I was wondering where they had hidden away the classic Artcaffe slogan. Usually it's written across a wall, but this variation is on a poster. PHOTO| ABIGAIL ARUNGA

There is a way to manage the customer – which, I assume, is what a manager is supposed to do – in such a way that everyone comes out of the interaction relatively satisfied – the restaurant isn't losing its reputation, and the customer isn't losing their mind.

I also think Kenyans complain far too little in premier eating establishments. There are some places I walk into, and they already know what I am going to say, if they haven't changed something that I think is essential, such as cleanliness, or old menus (I hate old menus. Why must they look like they fought the Battle of Jericho when they are handed over to me? Surely, here's looking at your wine list, Brew Bistro, do better). This is always the case when I walk into Artcaffe. And what am I always complaining about? The bill.

TOO MANY DECIMALS IN THE BILL

Let me explain. As you know, Artcaffe, Urban Gourmet and Tapas all operate under the same umbrella of business.

And so if you have gone to any of these establishments, you know that when they give you the bill, they divvy up the food according to the food itself, then the tax.

And so, your bill ends up having far too many decimals outside of a piece of paper that isn't in a secondary school, and practically ensures at least 15 minutes wasted if you're more than two people trying to figure out who the hell had what.

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