THE DISH: Milky goodness at Keventers

If you are lactose intolerant, I apologise in advance for this article and my experience at Keventers because honestly, you live a hard life and no one should have to go through what you go through.

That being said, I would probably never become a vegan unless I absolutely had to and my body rebelled against me and thus made it biologically impossible to take in rich, sweet, creamy, wonderful milk products. Any diet that says no milk or cheese or ice cream or cake is a no from me.

Not that I'm taking in these things every day, by the way. Just that they hold a very special place in my heart and are an essential part of my joy.

They spark joy! I have a milk product to commemorate making it to another day in the morning – a cup of tea. When there's something special that's happened and I want something cool and refreshing – a tall preferably salted caramel milkshake from 360 Degrees.

If I want dessert and I'm at Artcaffe, I'm definitely getting the cappuccino cake. They used to have a mocha rollada that was to die for, but clearly I was the only one ordering it because they promptly took it off the menu.

STRANGE

Anyway, I've read that it I strange for humans to even be able to digest lactose packed foods past childhood, and it only gets worse as you get older, so I'm glad to be a biological mutant who farts a lot for the price of a scoop of ice cream. And I'm always on the search for good ice cream (my current favourite brand is Delia's) and a good milkshake, which is what took me all the way across a county to Keventers at Village Market.

I love that Village Market has so many options for people who like food, but honestly, a lot of the time, I just get confused about what to choose now. It's like a menu in fat fried America. It's too big. It's too much.

And not in the fun Beyoncé way.

So usually when I go over there, I pretty much know exactly where I am going and what I am having, and make a beeline for that in the midst of their (47, I think they say??) restaurants.

My friend Diana has been going on and on about the milkshakes at Keventers, and so I finally caved (I like food, but fuel in this economy is no joke).

I fully expected it to be a restaurant with a seating area and cosy 1950s décor, but it's actually a corner stall in a space with other stores such as Delia's (yes, I DID get some ice cream and yes, I WAS broke for the rest of the week), supermarkets et al.

So what you do is order, then they hand you the little glass bottle and you sit off to the side or keep walking through the malls.

I love that they give you glass bottles, by the way. It makes me feel as if I'm doing my part for the environment and to make you feel even better, they give you paper straws, too. Obviously because saving the world is all about making you feel good, right? (but a definite bonus is that you stay alive, no? Instead of the world crashing and burning to the ground?)

Did I like my chocolate chip milkshake? Yes. Was it as tasty as other milkshakes I've had? No. Did I go crazy over thickness? Definitely not. I like my milkshake thick, as if it is struggling to come up the straw because it can't fit.

And much as I love saving the world, I hate paper straws. Halfway into your drink, they become soggy and unusable, almost as if they're trying to become part of the milkshake themselves.

The choc chip was a bit thin for me, to be honest, but that is easily remedied for what will hopefully be the next time I go over there – they have a selection for thick shakes ONLY. So if you like them THICC, like I do, next time you know what to order, yes? Cheers to all the mutants!

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Wondering where to get the 411 on what's happening in and around Nairobi's foodie scene? There's a lot of places you could go, but here's where we want you to be – getting the dish on the dish. Get it? We knew you would.